How Not To Get Linked on MNspeak.

Last Thursday Bob Collins of MPR Twittered "Pondering. Can a blog survive if it doesn't get mentioned on MnSpeak? 12:35 PM June 18, 2008 from web "


To which a few people,myself included, said "Ofcourse", but the question did get me thinking.

What if someone doesn't want to be linked on MNspeak? All those nasty strangers peering at your beautifully crafted sentences and precious moments.


I mean really, you don't have to be an MNspeaker for very long to realize there are certain disadvantages to being linked by MNspeak.

So I'm here to help.

How Not To Get Linked On MNspeak:

1) Don't Be Jason DeRusha:

Look, if you're Jason, you're screwed. You are going to get linked on MNspeak. Some weeks, almost everyday.





So whatever you do, do not become Jason.

2) Call Out The Clique: If there is one fast track to not getting linked on MNspeak it's calling out the little clique. There are a bunch of MNspeak regulars and they get rabid if you mess with one of their peeps. You know the one's I'm talking about posters like Aliecat,MB,DouglasG,JACC,Lunch!,Bixby, and that's just naming a few of the regular losers.

I remember this one time I called out some mole man. His big claim is being a "technology guru", but I called him out because his website took several minutes to load.

The result? I wasn't linked on MNspeak for months and he got an extra three links that week alone. So in order to not get linked you'll want to call out the clique every chance you get.


3) Hang Out With Max Sparber: If you hang out with Max you're going to get linked. Sure, Max may be clever and have a fondness for midget clowns, but you need to ask yourself if it's worth it.



Example: Take a look at this review. All the people pictured are regularly linked and a quick Flikr search of the same evening shows another handful of people that aren't pictured but were thre that night all get regularly linked.

Which ties in nicely to my next rule.

4)Avoid Being Friends of the Clique: This is especially dangerous territory. It all starts out innocently enough, maybe you go get pizza with some guy or maybe you show up at a happy hour for a drink, but the next thing you know you're post about food or maybe something you've painstakingly copy and pasted from a newspapers police report is being stared at by hundreds of ungrateful strangers that are mostly unemployed fat old men that pretend to be 20 something hot chicks during their free time.

5)Have a Blog That Non-MNspeakers Read and Comment On: If there is one thing that the MNspeak crowd can't stand it's everything not about them. If there's a second a thing, it's competition. If there's a third thing it's anything critical of MNspeak. So combine the three and you've created the perfect storm of MNspeak wrath. Which, as we know, is a safe way to not get linked by MNspeak.


6)Write about Non-Local things:
This is the easiest way to not get linked on MNspeak. Apply the above rules plus write about something that isn't local. Matter of fact, if you do write about something local, you may want to interlace some national or international matters in the mix just to be safe.

So in summary: Follow these six simple steps and you are well on your way to avoiding the ungrateful prying eyes, snide comments, and bitter Internet trolling of the MNspeak community.

Still, if you should find yourself linked just remember what your momma taught you about bullies, ignore them and they'll go away.